Goon Squad: Year in Review
General Manager Scott Parker had high hopes entering the inaugural SHL draft. As a highly touted player himself and the most skilled of the three GMs, Parker looked to build the Goon Squad around his solid base.
After letting the Rats and Sloops battle it out for SHL’s McDavid and Eichel, Goon Squad landed the next three players in the draft and rounded out their roster with Dan “Demondog” Morgan to tend the net and the unknown Joe Szprygada. The lineup of Parker, Josh Galante, Andy Bucella, Roncone, Morgan and Szprygada was considered among many analysts to be the preseason favourite. However, during training camp, Bucella and management began to butt heads and made the first trade in league history with Boomtown to bring Brandon Reynolds to the Goons.
The team made instant headlines as they went a perfect 6-0 in the first week of the season. Week One would not go without controversy as Ryan Parker of the Sunnyvale Sloops landed an MMA-style knee strike to the thigh of Roncone, sparking a bitter rivalry.
After three weeks, the Goons had a comfortable lead in the standings with a high-powered offense comprised of three of the top five scorers in the league and dominant goaltending. In an attempt to further bolster the Goon defense, Scott Parker traded Reynolds to the Sunnyvale Sloops in exchange for Tony Lattuca and Greg Roncone. Fans questioned this decision and consequently ticket sales dropped the following weeks.
With the team at the top of the standings, multiple players on the Goon Squad rewarded themselves by attending various lawn fetes the night before games. The infamous “Dehydrate-Gate” by Morgan had fans up in arms and led Parker to enforce new team rules. To show season ticket holders he was serious about a cup run, Parker ended up sending Lattuca down to the n00b Squad and bringing in Todd Otis for the playoffs. Lattuca played zero games.
The Goon Squad finished the regular season 32-13-1, for a franchise record 65 points. Parker and Szprygada led the offense with 74 and 73 points, respectively, and Morgan stonewalled his way to a 2.27 GAA and a .800 win percentage. The Goons eagerly awaited the results of the first round between the Rats and Sloops.
On Aug. 7, 2014, Parker announced Galante, a team captain, had been ruled out for the playoffs and Troy Roncone would be interim captain based off his former relationship with Anthony Bosch.
The Sloops slipped their way past the Rats in the semi-finals and were hungry for another upset. In Game One, the Goons dominated off the get-go and cruised their way to an easy victory. Early on in Game Two, a wayward stick found Scott Parker’s big toe and knocked him out for the remainder of the playoffs.
The Sloops saw their opportunity and took it as the knotted up the series with a dramatic overtime finish. With the Goons missing two of their three top scorers, Roncone looked to lead the team to victory. With Morgan in net and Otis and Greg Roncone playing shut down defense, Szprygada and Troy Roncone carried the offense to three straight victories, clinching the cup in five games.
The 2014 Goon Squad will go down in the books as one of the most dominant teams in street hockey history. In an end of season press conference, Parker was asked what he thought about the disintegration of the Goon Squad.
“Yeah,” he said, “it’s heartbreaking to see such a talented team disband but to the fans, just remember, they can’t take away our ring.”
